Comments on: Cosleeping and Biological Imperatives: Why Human Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone

By: Abbie

Abbie — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 18:36:09 +0000

My son will be 1 year in a week. He was born three weeks early and was only 5 lbs at birth. He has slept with me in my bed since he was born. Even in the hospital, I would doze while he breast-fed. When the nurse came in to check on him (which was VERY frequent), I would wake up. I didn’t want them to tell me he couldn’t be in bed with me. From the moment we got home, he slept with me. I had a bassinet for him next to my bed, but he very rarely slept in it. Now, he sleeps in a crib next to my bed, but I still bring him to bed with me in the middle of the night when he wakes up hungry. I nurse him for a while, and then I put him back in his crib. I will do this sometimes 3-4 times a night.
You should not co-sleep when you are exhausted or intoxicated. Any time when I have been overly tired, I have put him in his bassinet between feedings, just to avoid any potential risk. If I were extremely overweight, I would not co-sleep with my son, because the risk of suffocation could increase in that situation.
Any time he shares my bed, my maternal instincts have kept me aware and responsive to him. He is happiest and sleeps best when he is in bed with me. I cannot imagine not sleeping with him. It seems like such a cruel and cold thing to do, to force an infant to stay away from his mother for several hours at a time. Evolutionary development did not led to that–societal trend did. For many millennia, babies survived and thrived while sleeping next to their parent or parents. We didn’t have cribs when we were prehistoric man, and yet we managed to live and evolve to the point where we are today.
Ultimately, it is a personal choice by any parent whether to co-sleep or not. In my personal experience and in my opinion, I feel it would be cruel to force my son to sleep alone, and I think it goes against our natural biological development. But that is with regard to MY life and MY son. I don’t convict parents who choose not to co-sleep. Parents who choose to co-sleep with their babies should not be convicted either. As Dr. McKenna says, although SIDS deaths are, by definition, “crib deaths,” it doesn’t keep parents from using cribs. Although there are instances of accidental suffocation with infants who bed-share, it doesn’t mean that all infants should be denied that pleasure and comfort.

By: Mel

Mel — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 16:11:47 +0000

To the Nay sayers and Yaay Sayers!
Say what you all want and opinions differ from each other. Both sides have some valid points but what I am here for is my own experience as a mother of 2 wonderful healthy boys. I came to North America from the Philippines. Breastfeeding, co-sleeping and bed sharing was the norm in my home country. I have never heard or seen anything different! When I had my 1st son, I had an emergency C-Section. It was difficult for me to bring him out of the crib and nurse him every 2 hours. My cut was unbearable and the nurses and doctors expect me to do this. When I came home I was expecting this sort of tiredness but this not like this. I knew I wanted to nurse my son. I almost gave up breastfeeding on my 3rd week of being at home. With barely any sleep and exhaustion setting in, my mother came to our rescue. She is a nurse herself and she has watched and helped me through my ordeal. I cried, I am giving up nursing! She looked at me and said,”what I am going to do and say goes against my profession but not as your mother who raised you and your brothers”. She laid me down on my side and took my son to nurse this way. I was shocked, I said, “Mom, the nurses and doctors told me not to”. She said, “Never mind what they say, they are not here to see that you are suffering”. She stayed with me till I was comfortable. For the first time, my son and I slept for 4 hours straight and from that time on, I never went back. I nurse my 1st son for 14 months and my 2nd son for 15 months. The greatest discovery for me is that, I would wake up to nurse my son seconds before they wake up to nurse. He didn’t cry a lot, because I am ready and I came to his needs. I am not a heavy sleeper so this worked very well for our family. Even my husband who is a Westerner and didn’t want me to nurse in public has changed his perceptions about all this matter. He proudly tells everyone, what we did during those times. The professionals, in my opinion means well in their “studies and what nots”. I think that making breastfeeding difficult to mothers, makes them give up on nursing easily. Hence, the very small percentage of women that breastfeeds on for a very short time..I do not think at all that bottle feeding is easier. First of all, You have to get up, to get the bottle, heat up the water, mix in the powder, take the baby and feed him. By this time the baby is on full cry episode(“Give me my darn food, woman”). Phew..What a process..Ohh don’t forget about washing them bottles and sanitizing them. It is a waste of time and energy. Breastfeeding(in bed/in general)-fresh everytime and ready to go anytime, do it anywhere you want to, you do not have to get up. You do not even need to lug bottlesi n the diaper bag when you go out or go on vacation w/ the kids. (BTW, we went on a 3 day roadtrip to our vacation spot for three weeks when my son is only 8 months old). Need I say more….Breastfeeding, Co-sleeping and Bed sharing worked for my family. I am not forcing my way on to you but do not force your way on to me. We all have different reasons why we do what we do in raising our children. In the end, we all mean well..If my kids are happy, then we are happy. I could go on and on about this subject..but my hands are tired and I kids want me! See ya’s!!

By: Getting your baby to sleep « blissborn

Getting your baby to sleep « blissborn — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 01:17:28 +0000

[...] us (but we both agree on co-sleeping — or at least he doesn’t disagree too much). Read this article explaining the scientific defense of bed-sharing by James McKenna, [...]

By: El Veeb

El Veeb — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 17:01:49 +0000

I’m not a parent yet, but I’m all for co-sleeping- I have a 2-year-old nephew, and my sister used to room-share (she still takes naps with him)- from what I hear, they both still enjoy it.

@Jean- co-sleeping is both healthy and natural, but gets a bad reputation due to Western culture, which encourages separation and detachment from family (and we wonder why our society breeds so many sociopaths). Yes, there are some sick people out there, but someone already made a very good point- anything can be unsafe, if done irresponsibly.

@Carlie- as the article states, co-sleeping (when done properly) reduces the risk of SIDS but does not eliminate it completely. In any case, I’m very sorry for your family’s loss.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 18:12:55 +0000

This is a great article. We do a combo of bed and room sharing. Eventually we hope he’ll use his crib but we won’t try until he’s much older.

By: Sov med din baby | mkittekatbloggen

Sov med din baby | mkittekatbloggen — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:28:57 +0000

[...] Denne artikel, fra http://www.neuroanthropology.net, af James J. McKenna Ph.D. og Edmund P. Joyce C.S.C. Chair in Anthropology, Director, Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory, University of Notre Dame, beskriver meget fint hvad samsovning er – og ikke er – og hvorfor det er så vigtigt. Og en af de rigtigt vigtige pointer omkring samsovning er, at baby simpelthen bliver mindre modtagelig overfor sygdomme af samsovning, og mor får efterfølgende mindre risiko for brystkræft. Fordi samsovning fordobler antallet af amninger om natten og øger antallet af måneder barnet ammes. Læs uddrag her, og resten i linket: [...]

By: Co-sleeping & Why I Think Asian Parents are Right about It « Padmini's Svorga

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 03:38:11 +0000

[...] this site includes a lot of information and how disinformation spreads about co-sleeping. [...]

By: Maternally Wise

Maternally Wise — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 16:35:18 +0000

Co-sleeping is another form of extended nurturing, like breastfeeding, that all mammals display. Have you ever seen a crib or a co-sleeper made by an ape in its natural habitat? If one feels the need to separate their baby from them while they sleep then that is their choice but it is ass-backwards to judge a person for wanting to sleep with their baby/child. The technocratic model drives us to depend on contraptions and machines designed to outsmart nature. We are mammals people! Stop reading info from the CDC or books, written by people that you don’t even know, filled parental instructions and start looking at the way our great ancestors reared their children and how primitive living natives are still doing it. I wouldn’t look back to my parents generation for guidance being that they were the Dr. Spock era. There is a great book called “The Continuum Concept” by Jean Leidloff which talks about a native people living in the amazon who never put their babies down until they can crawl away. The terrible twos do not exist in this culture. The children are all very happy and are pleased to follow instructions from their elders. They all grow into well adjusted adult members of the tribe, whom all of which enjoy life. This is a great article and I hope awareness can ease the unnecessary fear around nurturing their children through the night and even extended breastfeeding for that matter.
P.S. our boy is 3, still nursing and sleeping as a family.

By: Jean

Jean — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 23:41:46 +0000

Parents who co-sleep are so incredibly selfish – and are not thinking of the child AT ALL!! You are not doing the BABY any favors. You are only satisfying your sick and twisted need to ‘be close’. Gross.

By: Jeaniney25

Jeaniney25 — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 11:40:52 +0000

Ok, so I was GOING to read ALLL the comments but I don’t have time…here’s my PERSONAL EXPERINCE…had a big bed long ago, used to sleep in it with my first child, when she was an infant, we shared a small bed, mn crib sometimes but my bed was ALWAYS IN her room!!!! I went about 3 years total without bed sharing but went right back to it when housing matters settled! Either way i had her in my room at least, always!!! It was a comfort thing for th BOTH of us n I felt NO SHAME OR REASON for changing that arrangement–then I had the local Community Outreach People come in n CALL the local Child OpProtective Services BCUZ I had both my children in my bed at one point!!! (we r ALLL VERY SLIM had HUGE bed n I AM THEIR MOTHER, IF THERE WAS A DANGEROUS FEELING OR THOUGH, I WOULD’VE taken them outta my bed on y own!) I wish I had THOUGHT of the bed sharing thing to tell CAS so I could just get them off my back but in any case, I conformed…UNTIL THEY WEREOUT OF mY LIFE 3 weeks later!!! ***my TODDLER, was waking up in the middle of the night, walking around our apartment in the DARK aimlessly, looking for Mommie, upset n scared I’d awke up QUICKLY (it’s an instinct thing) n find her sentimes still wondering or looking at me as I slept in MY BED ACROOSS the island thru the kitchen around the other side of the apartment. At which point I’d obviously get to bed with her comfort her n go back to co sleeping!! The SAME toddler has had nightmares n horrible sleeps, n dreams her whole life n waking up, down the hall from her while she screamed in her sleep or cried, just didn’t seem right to me!! So were in a new house, where I HAV a partner, n I sleep with the 2yr 9 mo old n I DON’T CARE WHAT my partner says, That’s where ima stay until my baby is ok to sleep on her own, IF that means until she’s 10yrs old, like my FIRST, THEN SO B IT!!
THE POINT: my opinion, the HEALTHY SAFE co-sleeping same room at least, highly recommended! The TRANSFORMATION TIME into THEIR OWN BEDS SLEEPING ALONE, was ONE WEEK, after sleeping with Mom for TEN YEARS….wow! That was it! I offered oldest five bux a week to sleep alone, n there she went! Done! The toddler now, she’s got issues n NEEDS Mommie there n I’ll b there, every night n everyday until I TEACH HER n she’s confident with doing it on her own!
The world is supposed to b the scary place, NOT the home…so I like to comfort n secure, first, worry later!!! There is always a solution to getting them out of ur bed, nothing lasts forever, especially with children! Good luck all..I don’t have a firm opinion, just experience!! THANKS FOR THE ARTICLE DOC,